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If the Winds in the Right Direction - Part 2
by Bane Huntress
Chapter 3 – Running blind
It was driving him crazy, nothing seemed to fit where it should, and
things that he thought wouldn’t fit did, it was like a jig saw where the
image on the cover of the box kept changing every now and again, but it
didn’t tell you about it.
He heard the other Time Lord cursing just as much as he was himself, so at
least it wasn’t just him.
Then he looked over at Jack, the other man was pale, his brow creased in
concentration as he looked confused at the two wires he held in his hand.
He could tell the other man was beyond reasonable thought, his continual
exhaustion a driving concern.
He put down what he was doing and made his way over to Jack. Kneeling down
besides him and taking the wires from his unresisting fingers.
“Why don’t you go rest?” he said softly.
“I can’t.” Jack whispered back in absolute despair.
With a sigh he moved Jack so he was sitting with his back to the padded
part of the railings. “Then rest here until you can think clearly.” He
said running a hand through damp hair, then across a clammy cheek, but he
didn’t feel like he had a fever. Really Jack should be tucked up in bed,
out from under his feet and where he knew he would be safe. Also knowing
from experience that Jack’s stubborn side would win out, whatever state he
might be in.
He patted his lovers’ knee then began to move back to where he had been
fuming over more plugs that wouldn’t fit into sockets, when he noticed
something flashing on one of the panels to do with space.
Staring at it as it seemed to be trying to do something, so without
thinking he went straight under that panel and began frantically trying to
sort out all the wiring and dodgy connections that had been ruined in his
initial attempts to get the TARDIS back to Jack.
He couldn’t ignore it when the TARDIS itself was trying to do something
and it made every nerve tingle.
He was just trying to sort out a knot of wires and circuits when he heard
Tosh shouting for them to hurry.
He looked down at his hands, then up at the panel that still had flashing
lights. Something was telling him he needed to concentrate on this, that
it was the most important thing in the universe.
The shout came again.
The sound of Jack trying to get to his feet, then the other Time Lord
moving in to help him broke him from his indecision. Jumping to his feet
he moved to the other side of Jack as they all made their way into the
HUB.
“That last message just disappeared.” Gwen said in a stressed tone.
They crowded around the monitor; He shooed Tosh off her seat and pushed
Jack into it as they waited.
Finally writing began to appear on the screen.
/Doctor
/You will appear on the surface at:
/0400 hours
/Alone and unarmed
/Torchwood
“That give us fifteen minutes” Tosh whispered when it was obvious nothing
more was forthcoming.
“How do we get to the surface?” He demanded.
“The lift.” Jack said, pointing over to the platform he had come down on
earlier that day. “They will have control over it.”
“We need some kind of plan.” Rose was jumping from foot to foot. “And you
can’t go unarmed, that’s just suicidal, isn’t it?”
“I’ll say.” Owen piped up. “But what?”
“I have a cunning plan.” The other Time Lord piped up with that stupid
grin on his face.
He didn’t know if this was such a good idea after all, He wasn’t even sure
if they would fall for it, but he stood on the stone platform now as it
slowly climbed upwards towards the surface.
He hadn’t really been to Cardiff before, so this would be a little bit
exiting.
The only thing that had made him pause in this adventure had been the
quick whispered conversation he had had with his next incarnation, just
before the lift began to move.
“Tell them they have one chance, and one chance only, to give Rose back.”
The other Doctor had hissed at him, his lips drawn back over his teeth in
a snarl, his brown eyes burning with anger.
“I’m not that kinda guy.” He stated trying to make a little light of the
situation, even if he himself didn’t feel it.
The other man’s snarl turned into a twisted parody of amusement. “Before…
neither was I…” He watched as brown eyes flicked over to look at Jack,
where he sat talking to the others. “But I am now.” Large eyes burned into
his again. “Tell them… One chance.”
Then the lift had begun to move.
A space opened above him, when he heard Tosh say something about finally
getting her computer up, and something about security cameras they had
trained on the square were active, but he was already too high up to hear
more.
Jack had told him that once he appeared on the surface, he would be
invisible to everyone until he stepped off. Something about an
Imperceptions Filter. They would know he was there though, but it would
give him a few moments to assess the situation.
And the young man hadn’t been wrong.
He found himself standing to one side of an impressive open area, flooded
with light despite the darkness of the predawn morning.
Filling the space around him were oppressive black vans and cars, along
with enough men and fire power to quell a small war. All pointing to where
he stood. Or more correctly, pointing at where they thought he was meant
to be standing, all slightly off to the right.
With a grin in place he stepped off to the left.
“Hi!” he said giving them all a little wave, watching as they all
flinched, tensed, then re-aimed their guns and sunglasses.
“Doctor?” One of the men standing more to the forefront, questioned with a
slight bow of his head.
“That’s me.” He acknowledged with a nod.
It would seem, despite Owens’ misgivings about the truth serum they had
used on Gwen’s fella, that he hadn’t given a good enough description of
him, or rather, the other time lord for these goons to recognise him
successfully. Tosh’s assurances that all security footage from inside the
HUB was stored locally on their own hard drives, that they wouldn’t have
access to, were also founded.
He was surprised these idiots had found out that they were here at all was
surprising.
“And you are?” he asked, putting his hands behind his back and bouncing on
the balls of his feet.
“Would you mind stepping this way?” The man with a goatee said gesturing
to one of the faceless black vans.
“Yes, actually I would, cos I like my feet right where they are thank
you.” He said giving them another grin. “In fact, there is something I
want from you first.”
“Ah…” the man’s mouth lengthened into a sly smile. “Well, if you come with
us, we will take you to the girl and the young man.”
“Alive, I hope.” he replied as he let his own smile slip from his face.
“But, I’m still not willing to go anywhere with you… I can wait though,
while you get them.”
“YOU WILL come with us, NOW.” The man said, also losing his humour, “We
CAN make you.” gesturing to the guys with the guns.
“I was warned it might go like this.” Sighing deeply he shoved his hands
in his pockets, letting his fingers curl around the sonic screwdriver.
“Do you really think it would go any other way?” the goatee man chuckled.
“No, I guess not.” He really should be helping fix the TARDIS, this was
just a waste of time, as they thought it might be. Then he remembered
something.
“If you would.” The man gestured again to the open van.
“Actually.” He said taking a step forwards, and the men with guns moved
with him. “I have a message for you… how ever much I really don’t want to
say this… but.” He took a deep breath, letting all expression slip from
his face, to let this man and his goons see his real face. “This is your
one, and only, chance. Hand over the hostages now. There will be no second
chance.”
The guy took a step back, and he noticed some of his goons in the back
looking about a little shiftily, as if ready to run if they had too.
But the goatee seemed to rally him self as he straightened his black suite
and stood a little taller. “You are in no state to threaten us Mr Doctor…
So if you wouldn’t mind?”
“Just to make things clear…” he questioned, making sure the right setting
was on his screwdriver, “You are not going to get your hostages and hand
them over to me?”
The man chuckled, “Not unless you come with us now. No…”
“Ah…right. I’m glad I’m not you then!” He gave them his biggest grin and
then clicked the switch on his sonic screwdriver.
“Bastards!” Jack’s swearing was the first thing that filled his ears as he
stood once again inside the HUB.
“Back to the grindstone then.” He said as he walked back into the TARDIS
where his other self was already throwing around circuitry.
“I take it you were expecting them to say no?”
He got a huff as a reply.
“Well… I gave them ya message; I don’t think they believed me.”
“If I see him again…” came a cold voice, which sent a shiver down his
spine. “He WILL believe me!”
He was shaken by the other Time Lords tone. From what he had learned about
this reality, they weren’t that much different. They had both been alone
for so long, both watched as their whole universe was destroyed and were
destined to solitary travelling until the very end.
The only real turning point had been this Time Lords run in with Rose
Tyler, who then stumbled upon Jack, and the rest, as they say, was
history.
But what had made him so cold when he had so much, it just couldn’t be the
threat to his daughter… It worried him that he might just turn into this
man.
If he could avoid it at all he never killed anyone, or even threatened to
do so, not like this man, not with such calculating cruelty that he seemed
to be emanating.
Without another word, he got down to helping fix the TARDIS.
All Jack wanted to do was sleep, or more correctly, he wanted to pass out,
because that was the only way he was actually going to get any rest at
all. It was almost like physical pain, and something in his chest was
unsettling him, it felt warm, almost like when he was carrying Alexander,
a drain, but this wasn’t a willing transition. He knew it had been there
for years, it had just seemed to get worse since he gave birth.
The only reassurance he had was that his Doctor had performed every test
imaginable and come up with nothing.
Now he found himself once again kneeling on the floor by the control
column, more bits of the TARDIS in his hands and he couldn’t recognise
them.
He was almost in tears as he looked uselessly around him.
Both Doctor’s were busy working away. Rose was hovering over her Doctor,
asking a question every now and then, and handing him what ever he asked
for. Gwen was thankfully looking after Alex who was sound asleep in her
arms, totally oblivious to the tension emanating from everyone. Tosh would
be working on her computer, and Owen was more than likely bugging her.
Nothing had happened for the past eight hours since the other Doctor had
confronted Torchwood.
Still the TARDIS was crippled.
He tried to hook up a power cable to the thing he held in his hand, and
the TARDIS gave a shrill warning beep, pulling the plug out as his heart
had just received a shot of adrenalin making him feel sick.
“What are you doing!?”
He jumped as he looked over to his Doctor, his chocolate brown eyes
glaring at him in annoyance.
He held up the thing he held in his hand. “I was just trying to help.” His
voice sounded flat to his own ears.
The Doctor’s lips thinned, as the next thing he said was snarled thought
his teeth. “I think you have helped enough.”
Jack felt his already racing heart miss a beat. He just wanted to break
down and cry like some stupid wimp, but instead he turned it to anger.
All the petty little arguments they had had, all those silly little things
that annoyed him, all the dark thoughts that he harboured whenever his
confidence was low, about why the man he loved beyond words would be
willing to spend eternity with him, actually wanted him around, all of
them suddenly flew to the surface.
“You never looked twice at me before you found out I was pregnant…!” he
snarled back. “You just picked me up all those years ago and took me with
you because Rose wanted you to!”
He heard Rose move, then the other Doctor mutter something to her he
couldn’t hear and she remained silent.
“Then you left me! Left me lost and alone for so long before picking me up
again to help with some stupid quest… What would have happened when it was
all over? Just dumped me here again once you had enough of me like all
your other little companions once you got bored with me?”
The Doctor just stared at him, his face expressionless, but Jack could see
the stark truth in the other man’s eyes.
He was right… and it hurt.
“So what?” He asked in a whisper, not breaking eye contact. “Am I nothing
more than just the last man on earth?” he spat out, feeling his heart
clench on every word. “You don’t love me at all, do you?” He whispered
finally.
They held eye contact for a moment more, before the Doctor’s eyes looked
at everyone else in the control room, then he started work again. “I have
to fix the TARDIS; I don’t have time for this.”
Jack felt the tears finally sting his eyes, and a lump formed in his
throat.
“You’re no use to me here, go rest before you collapse.” The Doctor said
as he moved from view.
His shoulders slumped; clumsily getting to his feet, he felt like his
whole world had been ripped apart. His head began to ache terribly, making
his vision blurr.
He felt large hands suddenly trying to guide him, he tried to shrug them
off, but they were insistent as they guided him away.
Rose was getting annoyed, her Dad had told her never to answer questions
from strangers and that she was allowed to lie if they wouldn’t leave her
alone. These men had asked her so many silly questions, they tried to
frighten her, telling her that her Dad wasn’t coming to rescue her, and
she had laughed at them.
They didn’t know that if Dad wasn’t coming, then Daddy would. She had even
tried to run away from him a few times, but he had found her every single
time, she thought it was great fun. Well she hadn’t done it since the last
time, when she had run away on that blue planet. When Daddy had found her
he had been very angry, but crying. He had scolded her a lot, and then
hugged her so tight. Dad had said Daddy was so upset because he was scared
she had hurt herself or run so far away that they couldn’t find her ever
again.
She had promised Daddy that she would never do anything like that again,
she just hoped that he didn’t get so upset this time, just wishing that
they would hurry up and find her because she was very hungry and terribly
bored.
She didn’t like the fact that they had taken Uncle Ianto away, he didn’t
seem like he was well, and his head still looked like it hurt. Maybe they
had taken him away to make him better.
“So, little miss.” The lady said, sounded like she was trying not to be
annoyed with her. “Can you tell me who your parents are?”
She kicked her legs under her chair. “My Dad and my Daddy are my parents.”
She yawned as she repeated herself yet again. “When’s Uncle Ianto getting
back?” she asked.
“As soon as you give me the names of your parents.” The silly woman smiled
slowly.
Rose rolled her eyes, “I just did!” she whined.
She was fed up with these people. She wanted to go home and play with
Alex, and make sure Daddy wasn’t upset as she was sure he was.
She shut the other woman out, then reached out once again to see if she
could tell them were she was.
He lowered Jack to the bed slowly; the man was so exhausted and distraught
that he was a total mess.
For a moment he left him, getting a cool damp facecloth from the adjoining
bathroom. When he got back he sat close besides Jack, and ran the cloth
over his blotchy pale face.
Light blue eyes, still streaming tears, looked up at him.
“I shouldn’t…” Jack choked. “I shouldn’t have said those things.”
He found he couldn’t look into those intense eyes, so he pulled Jack’s
head under his chin as he held him close. “With everything that’s
happened, I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner.”
Jack moved a little closer, until he was totally resting against him, and
he could feel his whole body trembling.
“But I should be helping…” even Jack’s voice had taken on a tremble as
every word seemed an effort. “I shouldn’t be wallowing in self pity!” a
fresh bout of sobs threatened to dampen his borrowed jumper. “So tired…”
“Shhhh…” he said soothingly as he rocked the young man.
The feeling of rightness took him again. He couldn’t help thinking about
the irony of the situation. Jack was hurting, and here he was almost
purving over him like some villain in a trash romance novel.
They stayed like that until Jack seemed to calm, then the young man moved
a little.
He watched as Jack gently took hold of one of his hands, then turn it
over, running his thumb over his palm.
A shiver ran thought his body. He knew Jack was just studying him,
probably remembering his own Doctor as he used to be. But to him, it was a
caress.
How long had it been since he had someone touch him this way, how long
since he had been willing to let someone this close?
Too long, and his body was reacting traitorously.
“So long.” He heard jack whisper his own thoughts.
Without hesitating he reached out and connected with Jack’s exhausted
mind. All the young man’s barriers were down, weak to his probing.
He got flashes of sound at first, of drunken laughter, soft exhalations of
breathy passion. Then the images, of himself, leaning over him, covered in
sweat with an intense look in his pale blue eyes. Finally, sensation,
being touched and filled by the man he loved beyond all reason, the man he
trusted with every fibre of his being, he was willing to give everything
to the man above him if this would prove more than just a one off,
drunken, debauched night.
He pulled himself from the others mind so fast it left him dizzy.
Such passion was enough to make him feel more alone that he ever had, and
for a moment he was intensely jealous of the other Time Lord.
He blinked trying to clear his mind, when he caught Jack looking at him
with wide light blue eyes.
He stopped thinking as he leaned his face closer until their lips touched.
Rose looked over at her old Doctor.
There was a crease on his brow as he carried on fixing the TARDIS, was
blind to anything else. Even Alex waking up and crying to be changed
didn’t make him look up or even pause in his frantic efforts.
Gwen had taken Alex away eventually, somewhere deeper in the ship.
The new Doctor had gone off with Jack, and she wasn’t sure how she felt
about that.
She had loved the Doctor without question for the short time they had
spent together, even loved Jack with almost the same passion, even if it
was always a platonic affair.
She hadn’t missed the looks they sometimes shared, or the outrageous
flirting that she adamantly took as a joke.
But, over these last few day’s, before little Rose was taken, she had seen
that they belonged together, and always had and always would.
The Doctor’s possessiveness over Jack was shocking at first, if not a
little embarrassing to witness, but that was how the Doctor did
everything, nothing by halves, giving it his all or nothing at all.
And Jack had been stubborn enough to stand up and take all that passion
for himself, how ever much she wanted to hate and resent him for it, she
couldn’t. She loved them both too much to see them separated when they
were both what the other needed.
The sparkle of life and hope she had seen in those expressive large brown
eyes had warmed her soul while ripping her heart apart.
And now, there was the seed of hope within her Doctor’s pale blue eyes,
that there might be another Jack in their own universe, and she was
willing to help him find the ex-conman. Though she thought that Jack of
her new universe might still be the conman he was. She would help convert
him, as she had this Jack.
She was still disturbed by the argument that she had over heard, the pain
in Jack’s voice had almost been a solid thing that hung in the air.
She wasn’t about to let the two men she had loved, fall apart over this,
she would see them back together before she was willing to even try and go
back home.
Back to Mickey, her parents, and her new brother who she missed more than
she thought she ever would.
She fidgeted as she sidled over to the Time Lord.
“Doctor…” she said as she bit her lip, not sure how to say this, or even
if it was the right time.
He gave her a quick look before doing whatever he was doing. “What?”
“Well… is what Jack said true?”
The Doctor paused, before turning away, chasing another bit of machinery
across the grating. “I don’t have time for this.” He stated in his no
nonsense tone, practically telling her to sod off and leave him alone.
She couldn’t and wouldn’t do that. This wasn’t going to be easy, so she
chose to ignore him.
“Because I remember when we were travelling over time and space together,
just the three of us.” She leaned back against the railings, not looking
at him anymore, trying to make it the most normal thing in the world to be
talking about. “We were so happy… Then I remember when the Dalek’s tried
to kill us all, and I woke up on the TARDIS and you changed, regenerated,
what ever you called it, do you remember?”
The Doctor gave a grunt.
“After you told me he was gone... you never spoke of him again…” she let
her voice drop to a whisper. “Is that what happened with me? Did you never
speak of me again, just like all your other companions?”
He looked at her then. “What was I meant to do?” he barked. “Cry on your
shoulder? Tell you that I was so torn up inside, that I missed him more
than anything I had experienced in so long?” he snarled as he went back to
work. “At least I knew you were safe, alive.”
She shuffled closer and bobbed down by him. “All you had to do was tell
him you loved him.” she uttered.
Once again he stopped what he was doing as his head hung between his
shoulders. “I have to find Rose… and get him to rest… then everything will
be all right again.”
She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “I know… but you just had
to tell him three silly little words…”
He peeked up at her, giving her a crocked smile that didn’t reach his
eyes. “I’ll make it up to him… Once I put our daughter alive, safe and
well into his arms.”
She smiled; once again, she was privy to the strange thinking of this man.
Without hesitating she threw her arms around him, and he hugged her back,
feeling just like old times.
Jack closed his eyes as those lips touched his own, then a slightly cool
tongue flicked out and ran across his lips, which he opened willingly.
Just like that first time he had slept with the Doctor, his large manly
hand cupping his face, the other behind his back, holding him close.
Just like then, he wasn’t in his right mind, and he knew this was wrong.
But what he had said, those vile words and insecurities he had spat out
like poison were more than enough to ruin things forever.
Why shouldn’t he take what he could get, an old part of his mind sneered
at him, he was so tired, and this man was offering him what his body was
yearning for, despite all the turmoil that was about him.
He felt himself being slowly pulled and laid down onto the bed, as the
Doctor’s weight pressed him down into the mattress.
When a hand made its way under his t-shirt to touch his belly he gasped,
pulling the other man to him instinctively.
“What the HELL are you DOING!” came an appalled voice from the door.
Jack flinched, but not as much as the Doctor, who all but leaped in one
movement off him and the bed.
“Rose!” he heard the Doctor say in a scolded school boy voice.
“Like I said!” she snapped, “What were you doing?”
Jack rolled onto his side, unable to face any of this, he just wanted to
rest, to forget and most of all, to just lay here until it all went away.
“I was just… well…” the Doctor said lamely, Jack could almost hear his
mind working to find a plausible explanation for this, even if there
wasn’t going to be one, and he sure wasn’t going to help.
He heard a hand connect with something flesh sounding, then the Doctor’s
soft exhalation of breath.
“Ok, so I deserved that… but not from you.” He said trying to sound hurt.
“You deserve more, but this ISNT going to happen again, and nothings going
to be said outside this room, we are all gonna pretend that I didn’t just
walk in here…” Rose paused. “And see what I didn’t just see… Got that!”
The Doctor muttered an affirmation.
Jack just groaned. His eyes felt so heavy as his whole body sagged into
the familiar comfort.
He felt someone sit on the bed, then a warm hand brush his hair from his
brow.
“Jack, are you all right?” Rose asked, the concern in her voice letting
him know he must look like shit.
“Tired.” He managed, enjoying it as she stroked his hair soothingly.
“You go to sleep then.” She whispered at him, “I’ll stay right here and
wake you if anything should happen.”
He nodded as he snuggled into the Doctors’ Pillow, breathing in his subtle
musk. So much different than the other Doctor’s.
“And you!” she snapped, at the other Doctor, he surmised. “Go help fix the
TARDIS.”
He didn’t hear anything else as he finally let go and drifted into a
boneless sleep.
…
With a start, he flinched suddenly awake.
At first he had no idea what was going on or who he was, or why there was
frantic shouting.
He groaned as he tried to snuggle back into the warm soft cushion he found
his head on. Then the cushion moved.
“Jack…. Jack, come on, something happening. Wake up.”
“Rose?” but… wasn’t she…
It all came flooding back, along with the nagging sensation in his chest
and the headache, he hadn’t been asleep long enough and his body was
already telling him it wasn’t happy, but there were more urgent things to
be thinking about. It was just a shame he didn’t much feel like thinking
right now.
He heaved himself up, realizing that he had had his head on Rose’s lap and
she was helping get his feet off the bed. The look on her face was
preoccupied as she kept looking at the door.
“That’s it, come on.” She urged him distractedly.
Finally, and with Rose’s help, they entered the control room and it was in
complete chaos.
The other Time Lord was ushering Tosh into the TARDIS, then slammed the
doors.
His Doctor was franticly running around the control column in and exited
state as he fiddled with dials.
“Yes, yes!” he was shouting.
“What going on?” Owen asked as he stood close to Tosh and Gwen.
“Something’s been calling the TARDIS, and we finally fixed the space
movement field, she’s priming to move!” his Doctor said as he stared
avidly at the monitor.
“Is…” he croaked out. “Is it Rose?”
His Doctor stood straighter, then looked over his shoulder at him.
“I believe it is…” he said, giving him one of his extra large smiles.
“I think we should be telling everyone to hold on!” the other Doctor said
as he joined the other Time Lord.
Then the TARDIS burst into life as they were all thrown to the floor.
End Chapter 3 – Running blind
Chapter 4 – Mothers love |