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Keep
the Light’s on for Me
By BANE Huntress
17,8,02
Jack
walked hand in hand with the crystal life form that looked and sounded so
much like his lost son it was painful.
They
walked to where Jack remembered waking up on this strange blue and yellow
planet, and his heart gave a twinge as a small hand tightened momentarily
in his own.
“So
this is it?” He said into the silence.
“Yes,
I have to return to my natural form.” Charlie said as he stepped away.
Jack
watched as the small form of his lost son stood before the crystal that
still remained intact in this strange graveyard.
“I
guess this is goodbye then?” he stuck his hands in his pockets,
unwilling to let this moment pass and to go back through the gate and to
what his life had become.
“It’s
is…” The boy replied with a heart-stopping smile, “I’m sorry for
coursing you more pain…” He said softly.
Jack
shrugged.
Charlie
held his hand out to the crystal then paused, his blue eyes so like his
mothers riveted on his, his small face serious. “You asked them to keep
a light on for you?” he asked, “You have a great emptiness in you that
I thought was your pain… And you still hurt for the one called
Sarah…”
Jack
rocked back on his heals, “Yeah…” This was getting uncomfortable,
however much he didn’t want it to end.
“Go
home Jack… If the lights are on then the one you find is the one to fill
the emptiness within you....” With one last smile Charlie touched the
crystal.
“Wha….
Wait!”
But
it was to late, there was a flash of light then Jack found his self stood
in a clearing once again alone.
“Damn
it…” He muttered and made his way back to the Stargate.
....
Finally
he found his way out of the base, after the doc had probed him and x-rayed
every bone in his body then thrown him in the showers, and Hammond had
questioned him relentlessly to make sure he was who he said he was.
He
looked at the clock in his Jeep as he pushed the key into the ignition.
0300 hours.
He
had been to see if Teal’c was still awake but the Jaffa was
Kal’no’whatsit, and on quiet questioning had found that Carter had
bunked down in one of the VIP rooms for the night, she looked rather tired
when he had gotten back through the Gate. The only other night scientist
in Sam’s lab said that she was still working on those blue crystals, and
had only retired about an hour ago.
With
a sigh he booted up the engine and coasted out of the base altogether. He
let his mind wander as he drove to the city, he found himself going down
the main street towards Daniel’s new apartment, the one he and Sam had
helped him pick.
He
pulled up outside and looked up at the windows. The guards topside had
said that Daniel had gone home, but the lights in the apartment weren’t
on, something that didn’t happen very often, the poor kid hardly slept
and when he did it was like the dead…
He
bit his lip, he could go up and wake his friend from a sleep that he
couldn’t go back to easily. All he wanted was to talk, and Daniel could
listen as well as he could talk and he really needed to talk right now…
But he couldn’t, wouldn’t be that selfish, Sha’ra’s abduction had
hit Daniel hard and as he revved up the engine he decided to let him have
his sleep, he could always come by tomorrow… Maybe then he would have
calmed down a bit and wouldn’t end up crying like an idiot.
...
Half
an hour later he found himself outside Sarah’s house, the home that was
once his, his and his small families… But that was before the accident,
before he lost himself to grief and self-loathing.
This was once a place that had been his relief from the other things he
did in the line of duty, his escape to reality or fantasy he was never
sure neither did he care, for a short time he could loos himself in his
beloved wife, or play ball with his kid. The simplicities of life that
infused normal men.
But
this was Sarah’s home now and a place filled with pleasant memories that
only brought more pain.
He
put his hand on the catch to open the jeeps door, then paused. Half of him
wanted that life back, wanted that simplicity away from the Stargate, away
from the Goa’uld and the ongoing struggle that was saving the world and
another world that needed there help. He wanted to come back from a
grooling mission were his or his friends lives were in danger constantly.
To be able to drowned himself in normality and forget everything.
But
that thought also stilled his hand. Could he do that to Sarah again?
One day a knock at the door and she would be told that he was lost in the
line of duty? His body unrecoverable, to let her morn him. To let her
suffer the pain of never knowing exactly what had happened to him?
He bent his head to the wheal of the Jeep.
He
loved her so much, and he wanted nothing than to make it all alright
again, the alien had given him that chance… But he couldn’t take it.
For her he couldn’t do it.
The SGC was his home now, he had given everything up for it in the
beginning, was even willing to give his own life… And that had not
changed, not really, he still put himself on the line every time he
stepped through that damn gate, and ever time he stepped back through he
thanked what ever true god that still existed he and his friends were
still alive.
He
looked back up to the American dream of a house, all the lights were off
but one, the one in Charlie’s old room.
He
could imagine Sarah sitting up there now, looking over Charlie’s old
things… And crying.
His battered heart could not take seeing her tears right now… He would
phone her tomorrow and they could go out somewhere and talk… Maybe he
could drag Daniel along for some moral support…
With
one last look at his old home he pulled away and drove down the street
that seemed alien to him now.
...
Ahh,
finally he had found his way home.
As he pulled into the driveway he frowned, he couldn’t remember leaving
the lights on… All of them?
When
he had left he was sure he had turned them off? He was sure he wouldn’t
leave the place lit up like a damn Christmas tree!
With
a shrug he got out of his Jeep, made his way onto his porch and stuck his
key in the lock, only to have his door swing open on him.
Instantly
he was in special op’s mode. His hand reached uselessly for his gun that
he had left at the base.
Carefully
he pushed the door the rest of the way with the tow of his boot and
stepped inside.
Nothing
seemed out of place, infact the cup he had remembered putting on the table
nearby was gone.
Carefully
and quietly he stalked half into the living room, the whole time his
senses made more acute by years of training sensed nothing but the smell
of fresh coffee and something else that mingled with that distinct smell
that spoke of warmth and calm.
A
glance through into the kitchen from his vantage point confirmed the
peculator was half full and still steaming, and that someone had done his
washing up?
He
moved further into the living room to see a mug on his coffee table still
steaming slightly.
Who
ever had been here must still be here, his senses sharpened themselves
again as he looked back up the hallway as he stepped further into the
room.
When
he turned again his eyes widened.
The
culprit to making him worry so much was sprawled at one end of his sofa,
chin tucked into chest and breathing softly and evenly in sleep as arms
wrapped protectively round said chest.
Jack
gave a relieved sigh as he relaxed completely.
He
might have known! With a smile and a shake of his head he got himself a
coffee then sat down on the coffee table before his guest.
“Hey,
Danny-Boy!” He whispered.
The
comment had the desired effect.
Daniel
grunted, his eyes opened to slits as he flinched awake.
“Jack…?”
Said in that so vulnerable way.
“Hey…”
He replied with a smile.
“Hey…”
This
is what he needed right now, familiarity.
“Oww…”
Daniel said as he sat up straight blinking againced the light. “What
time is it?”
“Almost
four in the morning…” Jack said grinning as Daniel rubbed at his eyes
then placed his glasses back on his nose.
“Oww…
am… I let myself in, hope you don’t mind but I still had the key.”
Jack
shook his head, he had said nothing when Daniel had moved out after
getting back to Earth and he couldn’t help but be thankful he never
asked for his keys, “Well I did ask for the light’s to be left on… I
didn’t think you would take it literally.”
Daniel
smiled and shrugged.
And
then Charlie’s last words hit him. He had been so worried about someone
in his house that he had forgotten. And as he sat here looking at his
friend he knew he was home, his family now was SG1… Sam, Teal’c and
even if he annoyed him at times, Daniel.
He didn’t have to keep anything from them, especially not Daniel who
knew him the best of the three, and what the man hadn’t wheedled out of
him his intelligent inquisitive mind had guessed the rest.
And there would be no one calling at their doors to tell them he had been
lost in action with no explanation as to how or why… They would know,
they would be there with him to share everything that he went through.
Selfish?
Yes… He loved Sarah, but this was his new life now, she would find
someone else and move on with her life, if they ever did get together then
the shadow of their past would always be there to haunt them… He
couldn’t go back to her… He belonged here now…
“So
how did it go?” the question was asked quietly and carried a weight of
meaning with it. Daniel already knew his sad and tragic tail of old.
He
shrugged “As well as can be expected… The crystal thing went back to
being crystal… I came home. The usual.”
“Ahh…
And how are you?” Daniel asked as his eyes flitted about the room
without looking at him.
“I’ll
survive.”
There
was an almost uncomfortable pause as Jack found himself looking into
crystal blue eyes and something stirred in his chest.
“Come
on… I changed the sheets in the spare room since you were last here.”
He got to his feet pulling the younger man with him.
“I
wonder how long it was you changed them before I came home.” Jack shot
his friend another startled look as once again something familiar yet
disturbing in context stirred in his chest.
“...
Well, what I mean is your home.” Daniel amended quickly as his eyes
looked away, then smiled. “I seam to spend more time here when ever I
have to get a new apartment.”
“Well
ya shouldn’t keep making us think your dead then should you.”
Daniel
gave him one of his half smiles, “I try…” he muttered.
Jack
smiled at that as he ruffled the younger mans hair, and as always got that
happy almost contented smile in return.
...
Jack
ushered Daniel in to what should really be his room seen as he was the
only one to actually spend any time in it… He fished out the jammis
Daniel had left with some of his other spare clothes.
When
he turned Daniel was already sat on the bed removing his shoes, his eyes
half closed as he yawned loudly.
Jack
couldn’t help but watch his long fingers undo laces then as smoothly
pull the shoes off of his almost delicate black clothed foot.
“You
know something…?” Daniel’s voice once again broke him from his
musing.
“What?”
Jack asked innocently as he handed the bundle of soft cloth over, their
fingers brushing for a moment sending a shock of electricity up his arms.
“Where
ever I’ve been and the amount of different roofs I’ve sleped under…
Non have ever felt as solid as this room seems to be right now.”
“I
hope so.” Jack jibed. “Good old American wood keeping this place
up!”
Daniel
glared at him then the half dreamy smile returned, “After my parents di…
Died.” He swallowed but didn’t let his eye contact go. “Even before
my parents passed away we were always moving, nothing was ever permanent,
I grew up forever wandering from one place to the next never settling for
long before I found myself moving again… My time on Abydos with Sha’ra
felt like I’d finally found somewhere I could stay… that didn’t
last…” he swallowed again and looked down at his hands that rested on
the blue bundle on his lap.
There
was a palpable silence in the room and Jack found himself reaching out to
lay a hand on his friends shoulder, then as that wasn’t reacted to he
slipped his arm around his waist pulling Daniel closer to him, trying to
give him at least some comfort that he knew the linguist would apresheat,
He just hoped Daniel couldn’t feel the pounding of his heart.
Finally
Daniel spoke again. “But this…” he waved a hand vaguely at the room,
“This just seems somewhere permanent… Somewhere that is always
here…” He looked up and stared straight in to his eyes then, “This
feels like home Jack… Something I always thought I could live without…
but… This feels like it will always be here no matter what…”
Jack
found all the quick jibes gone, even the crack about Daniel being one of
his kids died on his lips as he stared into those almost needy eyes.
Daniel
was saying something in a language he could understand but couldn’t
speck, the pleading for something was painful to hear but he could not
understand it’s depths. Or more like he could he just didn’t want to.
This
was also a language that Daniel was not grasping the whole subtlety of
grammar too and missing one word in ten.
Jack
smiled reassuringly back, maybe this was a language they would have to
figure out together and with time and patience he was sure they could
manage it… but for now he was happy that Daniel found some comfort at
least in his home…
Without
thinking he moved his hand into the long hair at the back of Daniel’s
head and pulled him forwards to lay a kiss on his forehead.
“You
know you can stay here anytime Danny…” He smiled into bright blue and
curios eyes. “You have the key for a reason… ya know?”
Daniel
smiled then as he nodded. “I know… and thanks Jack.”
Jack
stood and with a final ruffle of hair he left the youngest member of his
team alone to go to his own empty and dark room… But somehow, even with
Daniel the next room over it didn’t seem so empty…
Maybe
he would make a linguist of one language at least… The language of how
to make his Danny smile…
The
End
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